My mother became estranged from her mother after my then 14-year-old sister passed away unexpectedly; I was 12. That estrangement caused me to lose my grandmother (after just having lost my sister) as my mother told me it would be "disloyal" to have any contact with her. I never saw or spoke to her again and the double loss still hurts. Often there is collateral damage from these estrangements that shouldn't be ignored.